As anyone who knows me well will tell you, change is not something I embrace or even shake hands with (when we were permitted to shake hands).
Change over time, with opportunity to ponder and question, is fine. Change imposed on me is the opposite of fine.
Quite strangely for me, when on 12 March 2020, the arm surgeon offered me a date for surgery on 16 March 2020, I agreed. I did this without the pondering and questioning. Perhaps subconsciously, I knew something was coming. Change hadn’t reached the hospital waiting room on 16 March. Couches were close together and facing each other. Nurses weren’t yet wearing masks all the time.
When I woke up after a week or so, the world had changed without waiting for me to agree to it. So too did the world of family law over that and the following weeks. I was an outsider watching from the sidelines whilst I recovered.
Virtual Mediation
The change crashed into me when a colleague and I were discussing whether to agree to a Mediation by video conference or wait until we could do it face to face. As we talked it through, I realised that we had no choice but to proceed and that this is a change to which we will all need to adapt: and quickly at that.
I have reservations. Will the parties undergoing Parenting Arrangement understand the seriousness if they are not “eyeballing” each other, the Mediator and the lawyers? Is it going to be easier for them to refuse to negotiate and compromise without the uncomfortableness that comes from being in close proximity to “the other side”.
Will it be too easy to “hang up” and get on with the day? Time will tell whether my concerns are borne out or whether this is the way we will continue to do things when things are back to normal – whatever that will look like and whenever that may be. It is certainly a way to conduct meditations with parties in different places more cost effectively.
New Technology – New Practices
After making the decision to proceed with the Mediation, the Court then announced that it has moved to conducting matters by the same means.
We are accustomed to having procedural court events conducted by phone but hearings by video is a new experience for many of us. My limited exposure to date has brought home how important it is to be prepared and to be able to concisely tell the Court what you want it to do and why.
The technology lends itself to people, without meaning to, talking over each other. People do not realise another person is about to speak. To avoid being the one to frustrate the judicial officer, experience has taught me that waiting to be asked to speak is the best way to advocate for your client. Patience from all of us will be needed as more hearings using the technology take place.
Another change. I was prepared to present to a room of lawyers in late March. I ended up presenting to a camera in an almost empty room. Surreal experience. The jokes I had practised to make sure I kept the audience’s attention sounded strange in an empty room (I laughed at myself though). It made me realised how much you feed from the audience when you speak to them. No response from the room of chairs on that day.
No face to face time
I am well accustomed to meeting with clients by phone or by Skype. However, that is when you know them and have built a rapport with them. I now need to hone my communication skills to build that rapport with each and every new client.
Another change which will take some work. I am confident of my ability to be reassuring, friendly and professional face to face but I have not had to consider whether I “come across” in the same way if a client cannot see me. I will be putting effort into how I can improve if no face to face time remains “the norm”.
We are all coping with change. Homeschooling. Staying home. Staying away from our favourite haunts. Perhaps this will in the long run be good for me. The world will not be doing things as I want them and on my timetable for the foreseeable future.
Might be a great thing for those, like me, who don’t like to “roll with the punches”.
Learn more about Kate Graham – Director, BGM Family Lawyers
